Today in Toronto it is humid and rainy, as it has been for most of June, and I have a completely free day ahead of me. No plans for the day yet, and I'm not the kind of person who panics when I have nothing to do, on account of being an incurable homebody. Today I have no commitments, no errands to run. In other words, it's the perfect day for puttering.
My version of puttering involves getting stuff done, but in the slowest, laziest way possible, and with frequent breaks in between. I need a few hours of puttering time every now and then to keep me sane. A good puttering session is when I finally get around to doing all those little, nagging things that have been stubbornly clinging to my to-do list for months.
I've been up for three hours, and so far all I've done today is make strawberry pancakes and watch Labyrinth. PRODUCTIVE.
Now that the credits are rolling, I'm thinking of getting off the couch and the computer and finally cleaning out a closet in my apartment. I was lucky enough to find a place with ample closet space (I'm talking three separate closets) and I want to turn one of them into a craft closet. I sometimes make homemade bodycare products that I sell at craft shows (body scrubs, bath melts, bath teas and other goodies) and I need an area to store all my dried flowers and Pyrex measuring cups and various oils and powders. So I think that would be a nice little project for this afternoon. (Sadly, I am without a working camera, or I would post before and after pics. I need a new camera.)
After that, who knows? Maybe I'll clean out my fridge while finally listening to one of the I Love Movies podcasts that have been sitting in my iTunes for months. Maybe I'll download the entire Violent Femmes catalogue while reading that Vanity Fair article about Michael Jackson I bookmarked last summer but never got around to reading. If this rain lets up, maybe I'll take Bubs out the balcony so he can sun himself while I brush him and feed him blades of cat grass. That's the thing about puttering. There's no rules, guy.
Update: I wrote this post before I had started paying any attention to the day's news. Now that I'm all caught up, it would seem weird to note that this was also an excellent day for puttering on account of the G20 insanity going on downtown. Even though all the window-smashing and police car-burning was going on nowhere near Bloorcourt Village, I was perfectly happy not to set one toe out my front door all day.
Saturday, June 26, 2010
Monday, June 21, 2010
#whywebrokeup
Hello to my legions of readers. This will be a regular section of my blog wherein I explore the various reasons why past relationships didn't work out. No names will ever be used, so it's all good and legal.
1. You had mommy issues. Major mommy issues. One winter day we were out walking and I commented that the weather was unseasonably warm and that, you know, global warming was probably to blame. You told me to quit being so negative because I was reminding you of your mother.
2. Also, when I asked you if you would go see the play of The Glass Menagerie with me, you said no because the Amanda character reminded you of your mother.
3. Taking you with me to friends' parties was a bad idea, as you were a total wet blanket who made no effort to socialize or have fun in any way. When I asked you to stop playing a game on your phone at a barbecue, you griped that you didn't know anyone. When I brought you along to a good pal's house party, you again complained that you didn't know anybody, you were bored, and by the way, you wanted to leave. Stupidly, I left with you. What I should have done: stayed at the party, told you to get lost.
4. On a trip to visit your family in Montreal, you snapped at me twice. The first time was in the car on the drive up. I was flipping through a book of CDs and asking you what you felt like listening to. You told me to just hurry up and pick something because you'd had a rough day at work and you just wanted to listen to some music. The second time was when we were eating at a restaurant with your parents. You were looking at the menu and I asked what you were going to order. You said, "Don't rush me." (Moral: The next time I date someone who takes their bad day out on me, I will run away screaming.)
5. You used this really strong bright orange soap on your face that made your skin smell harsh and medicinal.
6. You were from Montreal, and you had strong opinions on the differences between Montreal and Toronto, notably that Montreal was better. One of your recurring complaints was that compared to Montreal, Toronto was "so flat." Montreal audiences were way more hardcore than Toronto audiences. Also, according to you, the girls in Montreal dressed better and were way hotter. Thanks.
7. My friends didn't like you. Probably because you weren't nice to them and you were really negative.
8. You were not a dog person, which is no big deal (I didn't and don't have a dog) but you took it one step further by proclaiming, loudly and often, that you in fact hated dogs. Whenever someone told you a story about their dog, you would launch into your "I hate dogs" bit. It was like you were trying to make it your schtick or something. But it wasn't funny, just annoying.
9. My attraction to you began to fade after you purposely got a horrible military-style buzzcut and began wearing the same stupid "I heart NY" T-shirt almost every day. You also wore pants that didn't fit you right. Normally these things shouldn't matter, but when your personality sucks it's harder to forgive bad haircuts and ill-fitting pants.
10. When we started dating, you were a vegetarian and I was a vegan. Shortly after, you became a vegan as well. Or more importantly, you became the kind of self-important vegan who gives vegans a bad name. You wouldn't allow yourself to be photographed with a non-digital camera, because camera film contains gelatin. When I asked you to feed my cat while I was out of town for a few days, you refused on the grounds that you didn't want to "touch meat." It should be noted that this, for me, was the last straw. I couldn't even depend on you to help me take care of the pet I loved so much.
[Note: Wow. I actually wasn't expecting to get to 10 things. And the worst part is, I could go on. But the best part is: Writing that felt so good. And in hindsight, these anecdotes are totally hilarious. But I'm interested to know what you guys thought of this post. Was it a good read? Too mean? Should I continue with this as a regular feature? Lemme know, dudes.]
1. You had mommy issues. Major mommy issues. One winter day we were out walking and I commented that the weather was unseasonably warm and that, you know, global warming was probably to blame. You told me to quit being so negative because I was reminding you of your mother.
2. Also, when I asked you if you would go see the play of The Glass Menagerie with me, you said no because the Amanda character reminded you of your mother.
3. Taking you with me to friends' parties was a bad idea, as you were a total wet blanket who made no effort to socialize or have fun in any way. When I asked you to stop playing a game on your phone at a barbecue, you griped that you didn't know anyone. When I brought you along to a good pal's house party, you again complained that you didn't know anybody, you were bored, and by the way, you wanted to leave. Stupidly, I left with you. What I should have done: stayed at the party, told you to get lost.
4. On a trip to visit your family in Montreal, you snapped at me twice. The first time was in the car on the drive up. I was flipping through a book of CDs and asking you what you felt like listening to. You told me to just hurry up and pick something because you'd had a rough day at work and you just wanted to listen to some music. The second time was when we were eating at a restaurant with your parents. You were looking at the menu and I asked what you were going to order. You said, "Don't rush me." (Moral: The next time I date someone who takes their bad day out on me, I will run away screaming.)
5. You used this really strong bright orange soap on your face that made your skin smell harsh and medicinal.
6. You were from Montreal, and you had strong opinions on the differences between Montreal and Toronto, notably that Montreal was better. One of your recurring complaints was that compared to Montreal, Toronto was "so flat." Montreal audiences were way more hardcore than Toronto audiences. Also, according to you, the girls in Montreal dressed better and were way hotter. Thanks.
7. My friends didn't like you. Probably because you weren't nice to them and you were really negative.
8. You were not a dog person, which is no big deal (I didn't and don't have a dog) but you took it one step further by proclaiming, loudly and often, that you in fact hated dogs. Whenever someone told you a story about their dog, you would launch into your "I hate dogs" bit. It was like you were trying to make it your schtick or something. But it wasn't funny, just annoying.
9. My attraction to you began to fade after you purposely got a horrible military-style buzzcut and began wearing the same stupid "I heart NY" T-shirt almost every day. You also wore pants that didn't fit you right. Normally these things shouldn't matter, but when your personality sucks it's harder to forgive bad haircuts and ill-fitting pants.
10. When we started dating, you were a vegetarian and I was a vegan. Shortly after, you became a vegan as well. Or more importantly, you became the kind of self-important vegan who gives vegans a bad name. You wouldn't allow yourself to be photographed with a non-digital camera, because camera film contains gelatin. When I asked you to feed my cat while I was out of town for a few days, you refused on the grounds that you didn't want to "touch meat." It should be noted that this, for me, was the last straw. I couldn't even depend on you to help me take care of the pet I loved so much.
[Note: Wow. I actually wasn't expecting to get to 10 things. And the worst part is, I could go on. But the best part is: Writing that felt so good. And in hindsight, these anecdotes are totally hilarious. But I'm interested to know what you guys thought of this post. Was it a good read? Too mean? Should I continue with this as a regular feature? Lemme know, dudes.]
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